


Love You, Bunny

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Grief, I'm really sorry, M/M, Post Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 21:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They sent him a text with pictures of the body. Sebastian's first thought was whether they had texted Richard too, if he knew and how Sebastian would tell him. When he thought about, Richard had known. He'd held Jim tighter when he left this morning, had cried quietly, though he did that whenever Jim went out on a potentially dangerous job, so, basically, whenever Jim went out on a job. He'd kissed Jim longer than usual, bodies too close.<br/>Sebastian wondered idly how Richard was coping so far. He'd never been without Jim before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love You, Bunny

They sent him a text with pictures of the body. Sebastian's first thought was whether they had texted Richard too, if he knew and how Sebastian would tell him. When he thought about, Richard had known. He'd held Jim tighter when he left this morning, had cried quietly, though he did that whenever Jim went out on a potentially dangerous job, so, basically, whenever Jim went out on a job. He'd kissed Jim longer than usual, bodies too close.

Sebastian wondered idly how Richard was coping so far. He'd never been without Jim before.

\---

When Sebastian walked through the door Richard was sitting on the couch, humming idly to himself. When he heard the door open his head shot up hopefully, a small grin flying across his face until he realized it was just Sebastian and he went back to looking worried and staring at the blank telly.

Sebastian swallowed hard and sat down next to Richard.

"Your brother…" he started, still trying to figure out how to phrase it. Richard offered him a weak smile.

"I know," he mumbled and sniffed slightly, rubbing at his eyes. He was trying not to cry, Jim had told him not to. "He left a note and… and… a note."

Sebastian held Richard as he started to cry, quietly, too heartbroken to bother with sobbing. Honestly, he felt like crying himself, but he wouldn't. Richard needed someone to hold onto while his world was rocking and tearing apart.

"I'm so sorry," Sebastian muttered, kissing Richard's forehead gently. "He's such a dick."

"Shut up!" Richard screamed, sitting up and slapping Sebastian. "He was beautiful and perfect, you're the dick you bastard! Go away!"

He started to sob then hiding his face and screaming. Sebastian got up slowly, moving to his room. It was barely noon, but he was exhausted, he'd been up late listening to Jim and Richard fucking and talking, though he couldn't hear what they were saying. It had sounded important.

It was probably good bye.

\---

Sebastian woke up when Richard crawled into bed with him and started kissing him. Sebastian kissed back, letting Richard move to straddle his waist, but pushing him away when Richard started grinding their hips together.

"Sebby," Richard whined. "Fuck me, use me, anything, _please_."

"I'm not going to have sex with you," Sebastian told him. Richard looked like he might cry again.

"J-Jim told m-me… H-he…" Richard tried stuttering, but tears were already flowing.

"He wants you to keep being used, Richard. He never did anything good for you, well… He wasn't at all as good as you thought he was, Richie. I promise, you're not missing anything," Sebastian explained slowly.

"He told me to fuck you if I got sad," Richard mumbled. "I… I don't want to let him down."

Sebastian sighed heavily and kissed Richard again, pulling him down to lay on top of Sebastian.

"I love you, okay?" he muttered against Richard's lips. Richard nodded and kissed him back.

"I'm so lonely," he whispered. "I… Jim…" Richard buried his face in Sebastian's chest, focusing on his smell rather than the absence of Jim's.

"It hurts," Sebastian agreed, taking a breath. "Sleep tonight, bunny. You'll be fine."

Richard nodded numbly and rolled off of Sebastian, curling up against the sniper's side, his head under the duvet.

"Love you, bunny," Sebastian muttered.

Richard didn't reply.

\---

The first day Richard didn't get out of bed.

The second he only drank a cup of tea.

The third Sebastian was afraid he was going to die too.

"You have to eat something," he insisted. "Just drink a cup of water, please."

Richard didn't answer, just stared blankly at the ceiling as he had been doing, his tongue poking out and moistening his lips.

"What's the point?" Richard asked. "I'm going to die anyway."

"But you don't have to die now," Sebastian forced, but he knew he was lying.

"It's like walking around outside with only one shoe on," Richard mumbled, turning onto his side. "But… It… The one shoe is giving you blisters and the ground is on fire and you know how to save yourself but you have to get somewhere and…." He swallowed thickly and shook his head. "Sorry. Dunno where that came from. I'm hurting it… It… I don't know…" He sighed.

Sebastian abandoned Richard to go make tea for himself and broth for Richard. If he could get him to drink it, then Richard at least wouldn't be as hungry.

\---

Richard didn't drink the broth, and Sebastian left it on the table for him.

When Sebastian came in for bed he held Richard's mouth open and forced the broth down his throat. Richard didn't protest at all, just took it, swallowing when his mouth got too full, still staring at the ceiling.

Sebastian lay down next to him as he had done the last few nights and fell asleep with Richard in his arms, staring blankly, not sleeping as he always did.

"Love you, bunny," Sebastian said like he had in the nights before. And Richard didn't answer.

\---

Richard was painting the next day, when Sebastian woke up. He's already painted a show with plants growing inside of it, peeking out at the top, laying in the middle of a field.

The piece he was working on now was more angry and brutal.

A rabbit in the middle of the road, laying in a pool of blood, having been hit by a car. Blood washing down the street, into the drains, the sky dark with rain.

Richard was crying.

Sebastian sat down against the wall in Richard's studio, watching him paint and pant and sob. At one point he dropped the brush on the ground and fell to his knees, hands in his hair, screaming until his voice was cracking around the edges. He'd gone silent after that, rocking slightly for a few minutes, floorboards squeaking beneath his movements.

Sebastian made a large plate of scrambled eggs and a whole thermos full of teas and toast and brought it back into Richard's studio, resuming his spot. Richard was tearing things when he got back, stabbing blank canvases with the ends of pencil and listening to them tear.

He noticed Sebastian when he walked in this time, turning angrily at him and stomping over.

"Why did he leave?" Richard screamed, throwing his pencil against the wall. Sebastian sat down as Richard sunk to his knees, setting the plate between them, taking a bight of the eggs.

"You hungry?" he asked, as if Richard wasn't falling to pieces in front of him.

Richard nodded and took the fork Sebastian offered him, shoveling eggs into his mouth. He took a piece of toast and ate it in a few ravenous bights. Sebastian watched, sipping at the thermos of tea, giving it to Richard when he held his hands out.

"I like your painting," Sebastian said through a mouthful of eggs. Richard nodded.

"He hurt me," he muttered. "Tore my head open and cut through my chest and threw my guts everywhere."

"I know," Sebastian muttered.

Richard stood up and wandered back to his canvas, picking his paintbrush p and making a few gentle stokes.

"Could I be alone?" Richard asked and Sebastian nodded, picking up the plate and the thermos, moving back into the kitchen.

\---

Richard stays in his studio, eating when Sebastian brings him food, but not leaving. Most of the time, he's just staring blankly, at the canvas. The painting is coming along nicely.

"I'm going out to buy eggs," Sebastian told Richard from the door. Richard nodded absently, not even looking back at Sebastian.

"Love you, basher," Richard mumbles, the first time since Jim had killed himself.

Sebastian almost doesn't leave after hearing that. He should have listened to his instincts.

"Love you, bunny."

\---

When Sebastian returns, Richard is sprawled on the couch, vomit on his chest and in his mouth, his eyes closed.

There is a note on the table.

_Sebastian,_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I hate myself for doing this, I hate myself for staying, too. I'm sorry._

_He left me with the pills. He told me I could if I wanted to._

_Put my painting in an exhibition, if you can._

_I wanted to stay. I tried so hard, but what's the point of only having half? I'm nothing without out him, I was barely anything even while he was around._

_I love you so much. Please forgive me. Don't kill yourself, I want you to find a girlfriend and have children and stop killing people._

_-Richard._

He'd doodled a rabbit it beneath the note.

Sebastian let himself cry then. He let himself scream and tear at the skin on the back of his neck with his nails. He cradled Richard's head in his hands and kissed his forehead and rocked back and forth, trying to breathe but not finding any air.

Both of his twins were gone. Both of his fucked up, life ruining twins and he wanted to follow them, but he wouldn't.

No, he'd put Richard's painting in an exhibition, and he'd do it honestly, Richard would have liked that and he'd kill Watson, maybe.

No, he wouldn't do that. He'd watch Watson suffer like he was. He wouldn't kill anyone.

"Love you, bunny," Sebastian whispered into Richard's hair, his breathing still ragged and uneven. He stood up and pulled out his phone, dialing the number to get rid of Richard's body. To bury it with Jim's. He'd go visit them when their grave was put up.


End file.
